Of marriage (cont'd)

I am a poor blogger indeed. Working too much, I guess...I write dozens of posts in my head, but can't seem to write them. So here is an interim one to flag a couple of issues.



First, the issue of marriage. I love this by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Exposing far more beautifully than I could why he (they) is (are) not married. Well, for that matter, I married (partly for administrative reasons, as we are from different countries and visa issues can hurt) - just making the point that this is not the only option. The US seems to have considerable difficulty adjusting with the idea of a more flexible family. Trying by all means to have marriages all around does not seem to result in more stability, not even for children... Interesting that in France things seem to be going the other way: since the "PACS" (civil union) was introduced (supposedly for same-sex couples mostly), it has been widely used by heterosexual couples too, as a way to get (some of) the same tax and other privileges of married couples, without marriage. And children of the many many unmarried couples seem to be doing fine. Might it be that the American society has a problem with its fixation on marriage?

Now of course, part of the story is the symbolic of names like "husband" and "wife" - and I love this destabilizing shattering of the obvious:

I no longer recognize marriage. It’s a new thing I’m trying.
Turns out it’s
fun.
Yesterday I called a woman’s spouse her boyfriend.
She says,
correcting me, “He’s my husband,”“Oh,” I say, “I no longer recognize marriage.”

(through Andrew Sullivan)

But let's talk a bit about something else than marriage, lest one thinks I am obsessive...